An
ancient philosopher’s advice for living a fulfilled life, even in the darkest
times: “Everything in your life is your responsibility, and every negative
occurrence is bad because of how you dealt with it, not what happened.”
Few
who knew Epictetus would have considered him lucky. He was born a slave 2,000
years ago. He lived and died in poverty. He was permanently crippled from a
broken leg given to him by his master. The reason his name has lived on for so
long, however, is not for the misfortunes he suffered. He is remembered as a
philosopher.
Along
with Seneca (philosopher and advisor to emperor Nero) and Marcus Aurelius
(Roman Emperor), his work spread the wisdom of Stoic philosophy perhaps more
than anyone else. Even today, the principles he embraced are used by people of
all cultures and nationalities.
Without
getting into the details, the core idea of Stoicism is to be aware of what you
can and can’t control. With that awareness, one can avoid misery (misfortune)
by changing what you can control and letting go of what you cannot. It is an
incredibly simple and powerful concept—and often referred to as the most
practical of the ancient and modern philosophies.
What
is admirable about Epictetus is that he showed the extent of its effectiveness
through example. In spite of his circumstances, it appears he lived a happy,
fulfilled life. His epitaph for himself was: “Here lies Epictetus, a slave
maimed in body, the ultimate in poverty, and favored by the gods.”
Change
what you can control. Let go of what you can’t control. Psychologists call this
an inner locus of control. It inspires people to see that internal, not
external, factors shape how life plays out. For better or worse, the responsibility
is ours.
It’s
so elegant that it almost sounds too good to be true. In a way, it is because
it’s easy to say, and even understand, but in practice it gets messy. We may
know we can’t control random interruptions when deeply focused on work or when
a person cuts us off in traffic, but that doesn’t mean our response doesn’t
show annoyance.
It’s
not an unfamiliar situation. How would Epictetus respond?
Simply:
Everything in our life is our responsibility. Every negative occurrence is
‘bad’ because of how we deal with it, not what happened. The world is not fair,
life is hard, there is stress and pain. With renewed mindset, we begin to
associate the annoyances of life (even if valid) with our own ability to deal
with them. Such associations establish proactive links to the events of life.
Things
will always go wrong. Over a long enough timeline, ‘bad’ things happen to
EVERYONE. Misery does not arise from external events. It grows from within.
This means that although adversity can be influenced and inspired by
circumstances, it is largely unrelated to being lucky or unlucky, rich or poor,
loved or unloved. Misery treats everyone the same.
Beyond
basic needs like food and shelter, most of us have everything we need to avoid
distress. What matters is our ability to see challenges and difficulties as
something other than challenges and difficulties. Epictetus said, “Man is not
worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real
problems.”
Finding Collective Consciousness
This
is all logical enough to grasp. If it was simple to apply, the world would
already be doing it for 2000 years. That said, it requires consistent effort
and application. It demands not only understanding, but a daily commitment to
embrace all that life is, and to remember we are part of something much bigger
that we cannot yet see or comprehend.
The
fact is, our outer senses limit our focus and narrowly group our
perceptions and understanding of the world around us. They limit the real range
of our consciousness. The feeling of a fully human, fully alive, fulfilled life
cannot arise using the limited scope of our outer senses as we usually permit
ourselves.
It
is important for humankind to use, and experiment with, our inner senses
for human potential to be fully realized. New concepts arise that are unbounded,
and connect in a most intimate way to all other things in the universe.
In
the grand scheme of things, we are all here for a brief moment in a space-time
continuum. That moment may be imposed on us without our say, but it does not
shape how we experience it. The universe is not concerned with what we want. It
does, however, provide all the physical and metaphysical elements needed to
enjoy it.
Beliefs
create reality. It is possible for ideas to cause chemical reactions that
impede or promote the health of our bodies. BELIEFS THEMSELVES ARE TOOLS. The
most favorable view of a problem is as least as probable as the most unfortunate
view. All
actions have consequences that may or may not be intended. But negative
thoughts and beliefs lead to destruction and positive ones promote/support
life. We only have to find
the meaning inside us and change our reality to be the positive experience it
is because of what we learn from it. Then we discover the resilience of the
human spirit, begin to see the world in a whole, new way and feel the joy of
fulfillment.