Thursday, March 7, 2013

Not-So-Intellegent Design…



You hear about a growing movement to introduce the concept of “intelligent design” into public school science curriculum.  So what’s all the fuss?  Intelligent Design Theory or ID (not to be confused with ED) was crafted by folks who, for a variety of reasons, disagree with the theory of evolution.

They think that the “scientists” are trying to debunk their religious beliefs by insinuating that natural evolutionary processes created life as we know it, not the Big Guy (Girl) Upstairs.  This is an unfair accusation because we all know that scientists do not have the time to debunk anything.  They spend the majority of their time chasing after government research grants.

ID proponents argue that many things in our environment cannot be satisfactorily explained by mere evolutionary theory.  Therefore, they believe that a “higher power” or some intelligent force out there must have created us and most of the stuff that makes up the natural world.

However, if the intelligent design people think that a higher power is responsible for many of the wonderfully complex things in our world, they should admit to some of the obvious flubs found in nature as well.  People of a certain age may remember the 1977 film “Oh, God!” starring the late George Burns in the title role.  In the movie, even he admitted that he got the avocado wrong (“The pit’s too big.”).  

There are many other questions that this so-called intelligent designer must answer.  Why does healthy food not taste as good as unhealthy food?  Why are weeds ugly?  Why does “weekend” time go by faster than “weekday” time?

The opponents of ID (scientists) are adamant about preserving the separation of church and state and protecting the sanctity of the public education system.  They feel that ID is nothing more than a thinly veiled reintroduction of creationism into our otherwise spiritually antiseptic public schools.

The say “veiled” because ID proponents cleverly disassociate themselves from mainstream religious beliefs by not specifically identifying the intelligent designer.  It could be God.  It could be alien beings.  Sci-fi fans are thrilled with the latter.

As you may recall, a fellow named Charles “Chuck” Darwin invented the theory of evolution more than 100 years ago, most likely in an effort to secure a government grant.  His theory is that living things “evolve” over time to adapt to changing environmental conditions.  If a plant or animal doesn’t adapt to its environment, it’s toast.

Most agreed that his was a swell theory.  Chuck didn’t stop there.  He further theorized that humans descended from monkeys.  Now this notion rubbed some people the wrong way, but Darwin’s supporting evidence is quite compelling: we like bananas; we scratch our heads when we’re confused, and we sometimes screech for no apparent reason. 

Ironically, the current intelligent design vs. evolution debate supports his theory, too.  We are behaving like a bunch of monkeys.  The simple fact is the debate is moot.  ID can exist in tandem with any scientific theory.  Religious faith and/or science fiction trumps ordinary science every day of the week.  Let’s just say God (or the aliens) invented evolution and dismiss the complicated or analytical parts or parts we don’t like to hear.  Sorry, Charlie.

While intellegent design theory cannot be completely discounted, teaching ID in science class is not a good idea.  The role of public education is to provide our young people with the basic knowledge and skills to navigate through life--the three Rs of Readin’ (w)Ritin’ and ‘Rithmetic.  Add to that gym class, which teaches us humility, embarrassment, and, in many ways, the practical application of evolutionary theory, e.g., survival of the fittest.

ID just complicate matters.  ID in science class makes it too easy on learners.  Since ID, by its very nature, does not require observable, measurable proof that it exists, it can explain, in one fell swoop, even the most complex systems in the realm of the natural sciences.  It is the academic equivalent of, “Because I said so.”

No more drawing a blank on the science quiz; “ID” is always a plausible answer.  Learners will undoubtedly use ID to their advantage in other ways.  Instead of using the time-worn excuse, “The dog ate my homework,” which is perfectly sound by ordinary scientific standards, teachers will now hear ID-inspired excuses such as, “A higher power directed me to play my X-box ‘til 3 a.m., which did not afford me the opportunity to complete the assignment.”

My real concern is if people start questioning the appropriateness of teaching the theory of evolution in school, what’s next?  How many times have perplexed math learners wondered aloud, “Will I ever use this later in life?” “Do I really need to know this?”  The answer is, quite frankly, no.  Not unless you are planning to be an engineer, math teacher, God forbid, a scientist, work in construction, use technology at the store or just help your kids with homework…

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