How would world history been recorded if global figures before
us had their brains similarly wired to function in 140 characters or fewer as a
today Twitter communication?
International Intelligence Community archive
sources provided intercepts of thoughts from past world figures (actual Trump
Twitter exclamations included):
Pharaoh, 1446 BC: “Israelites had to come up with story as
to why they were enslaved so long and so badly (400 years) so they made up a story
— GOD. Fake news!”
Priam, King of Troy, 1200 BC: “Cassandra says the horse
shouldn’t come in the city gates. She’s been losing so long she doesn’t know
how to win. Not me!”
Julius Caesar, 44 BC: “Do you believe it? Wife had bad
dream, says I can’t go to Senate because I will be murdered. Ridiculous and
will be overturned!”
Napoleon, 1812: “My so-called advisers warning of famine,
dysentery, typhus if I invade Russia. Lies! Only emboldens the enemy!”
Donner Party, 1846: “FAKE NEWS reports, fabricated deal,
saying unsafe to take shortcut through the Sierra Nevada mountains in winter.
Very dishonest!”
White House press secretary, 1865: “The president saw a
great show at Ford’s Theatre last night, packed house, long standing ovations,
amazing people. WIN!”
George Custer, 1876: “Leaks say we will be overwhelmed at
Little Bighorn. Real scandal is classified info is illegally given out like
candy. Very un-American!”
Edward Smith, 1912: “ ‘Intelligence’ from made-up ‘sources’
says there are icebergs. But fake news media refuses to mention my ship is
unsinkable. Politics!”
Franklin Roosevelt, 1933: “I inherited a mess. At home and
abroad, a mess. I just want to let you know, I inherited a mess. A horrible
mess! Bad!”
Winston Churchill, 1940: “Germany is formally PUT ON NOTICE
for invading France. Big trouble! If something happens, blame the courts. A lot
of bad dudes out there!”
John F. Kennedy, 1961: “Secretary of Defense McNamara says
Bay of Pigs was winning mission, not a ‘failure.’ Time for the USA to get smart
and start winning again!”
George W. Bush, 2005: “The levees held. The fake news media
is going crazy with its conspiracy theories and blind hatred. Terrible!”
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