It Was All Supposed to Be Better When We Grew Up

No matter how vividly we were told that life might prove difficult, very few are dissuaded from working to achieve their dreams.  This is, of course, good.  However, most of us are also full of misplaced confidence.  Though none of us is ever sure of what we will have to experience to be prepared for what life has in store for us, we still usually aren’t ready to face our discouragement over what we come to see in ourselves. 

As we grow and become more discerning, the discouraging aspect is that the choices and consequences we seem to notice in others is often a reflection of what we also see in ourselves. We may even reach a level of outright disillusionment as we see our "little" faults as the cause of some of the “unpleasant” consequences of our choices rather than from others doing bad things to us. 

We attempt to bottle up our little faults to keep them from breaking out, yet they seem to be just below the surface ready to leap out in a foolish act.  We may have even imagined that when we began to grow in more wisdom and knowledge, life would be continually easier and become an unending pleasure.  Too frequently, it seems to work in the opposite direction as some inner force tries to pull us back, returning us toward our former state, miserable though it may be.

This is good.  First, the older and more mature we become, the more we can discern.  Our discouragement can turn to thankful encouragement because, even though we perceive the dark side in ourselves, our ability to discern it more clearly is evidence of growth.

Secondly, it is encouraging to understand that for us to grow, we must first be aware of that dark side.

Thirdly, it is wonderful to understand that as we see more aspects of the not-so-nice parts of human nature that it should help us also discern the implications of those who have sacrificed or helped us succeed.

Fourthly, these things should motivate us to yearn for the time we will be free of the bondage we put on ourselves.

The removal of ignorance is a wonderfully rewarding gift.  Even so, regret sometimes comes easily because we allowed ourselves to be deceived into trusting our own works were independent of a larger, infinitely, integrated universe.  Two notions necessary to maintain our inner strength are key: 1) If we fail to conduct ourselves properly, even according to our own standards, it is not difficult to understand that the past will repeat itself, and 2) We may be hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not hopeless.